Human Happy Endings

Conan O’Brien made a great dig at SeaWorld last week in his opening monologue:

“In response to criticism of its treatment of killer whales, SeaWorld said it will build them a larger habitat.  When asked for comment, killer whales said, ‘Hey, you know what’s a larger habitat? THE OCEAN!'”

Yesterday there was a story about a father and daughter who were hauling their lobster traps in Scarborough, Maine and found within their traps a blue lobster. Of course this was exciting for them and according to the news report via Global News, is a one-in-two-million find.

The 14-year old who caught the lobster and has her own student lobstering licence said she, “didn’t want anyone else to have it to hurt it or cook it so we’ll donate it so it doesn’t get harmed and it can live.”  So the lobster is being donated to the Maine State Aquarium.

Naturally, this is being reported as, “a happy ending for the lobster” and the lobster has been deemed “lucky” that they have been spared, “far from any dinner rolls or pats of butter.”

Well…it may be a slightly happier ending but I beg to differ that it’s a truly happy one.

According to the news report, “once the lobster is at the aquarium, they plan to run some tests and hopefully get it on display soon.”

Because of course.  That’s what we humans do, isn’t it?  Something as rare as a blue lobster must warrant our incredible mercy and compassion.  But not enough to put it back in the ocean where it already had a home and a family and was probably doing just fine, fuck you very much. No, we shall spare you, Oh Great Lobster….and then put you on display for our research and enjoyment. You are so “lucky” to be a different colour that we bothered to stop and notice you as something (or god forbid, someone) that might actually feel pain or not want to be boiled alive. Those other red lobsters – what do they know?  But you! You are different and should be excluded from the fate of the others simply because you are a different colour.

So as humanity spends another 15-minutes elevating its self-importance and congratulating ourselves for our infinite goodness, this lobster sits alone in a tank, taken from their ocean home, isolated, with claws bound together so they can no longer defend themselves.

This is only a “happy ending” to humans.  It is not for this blue lobster.  And it most certainly isn’t for the hundreds of other lobsters who weren’t “lucky” enough to avoid a trap or have a genetic disorder that turned them a different colour so their lives might have a chance to be spared.

Via: accuweather.com

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3 thoughts on “Human Happy Endings

  1. Marisa says:

    Brilliant post…as usual. I’m actually playing a video game right now where aliens come down and start using humans in experiments. And, of course, the humans are SO indignant about it all but the aliens are as above them as humans feel they are above other animals so the aliens have no compunction about using humans as test subjects. And my question is why should humans be treated any differently than the animals on whom they’ve inflicted so much torture? If we truly feel that an alien species (who decides they are vastly superior to us) would have no right to use our bodies for all manner of horrific experimentation why do we feel we have the right to do this very thing to other animals? It makes absolutely no sense.

    Like

    • Anonymous says:

      You hit the nail on the head: It makes absolutely no sense. We would be horrified at the use of human testing or yanking a human from their home and displaying them in a museum. It comes back to that, “but it’s just an animal” response that has been ingrained into so many of us that it precludes any further thought about it. I long for the day when that thinking will change.

      Thanks for posting and for the compliment too.

      Like

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